Digging Holes Builds Character (In which Omega complains– a lot– but adds to her to-do list by writing this blog)

It’s hard running a roller derby league. It’s hard training freshmeat how to skate (think baby giraffes with the legs everywhere). It’s hard organizing a large group of women into some semblance of a working operation. But really, in spite of all our knowledge going into it, and the months upon months of preparation, it’s hard to plan a bout.

Just to look at all the pieces, here’s the regular to do list for each bout (and no, this doesn’t include everything): get the venue, get insurance, sanction the venue,  get another team to play you, get their insurance, make a bout poster, print the bout poster, make a Facebook event, get refs, get NSOs, book an after party, make a program, get merch ordered, get sponsors, print the program, get vendors, get a security crew, get a production crew, get a DJ (but only if you get a music license), hire EMTs, get someone to perform the national anthem, get an announcer, make team baskets… And be well prepared to be running around like a chicken with your head cut off come bout day, because there’s no way it’s ever going to run smoothly.

When you have a new league, it’s a guarantee that not everyone knows what they’re doing. Honestly, not everyone knows what they’re doing in any league, and that’s an important thing to remember. WoRD is lucky, because a lot of us are going into our third season of bout preparation. But that’s a lot of responsibility to fall on just a few shoulders, so we all have to work our hardest to both support and delegate.

In short, it’s a lot of work.  Especially when you add two new logs to the mix:

WoRD’s new logo

Warheads logo

In the (less than a) week leading up to our bout, things are getting stressful. If everything goes accordingly, we’ll have all of our NSO equipment. We have officials coming in from several neighboring leagues to lend a helping hand/whistle. Last night I had a dream that we’d somehow been evicted from our warehouse and the lingering thought I had when I awoke was, “how are going to get our helmet panties now?”

If, as a visitor to another league’s bout or a spectator with no inside knowledge of derby, these struggles never crossed your mind- then that league is doing it right. If you ever wondered why a league needs so many people outside the ones with the skates strapped to their feet, this is why. If you’re excited to see if WoRD can pull it all off (spoiler alert, we can and we will) come check us out on Saturday. We can’t wait to show you how good we are– oh and our teams can play well too.

 

Fresh Meat FAQs

WoRD’s new fresh meat class starts on June 6 and we’ve been getting a lot of questions about what to expect so we’ve decided to freshen up one of our old posts for your perusal.

1. Do a lot of people get hurt? Roller derby is a contact sport. People do get hurt, yes. We get bumps, bruises, sprains, and sometimes we get broken.

2. Do I need to know how to skate already? No! We’ll teach you what you need to know. BUT, the more you practice the better you get. So even if you can barely stand, you’re going to have to get out to some roller rinks to practice.

3. Can I help out without having to skate? Please do! You help out at bouts and events and make sure things run smoothly. You can be what’s called an NSO (non-skating official) where you keep score or track player penalties. There really is a place for everyone.

4. Do I need skates to start? We have a limited amount of skates that we can loan you. If you’re unsure whether you’re going to like skating at all but want to try, you should definitely contact us to see if we have your size. You can get cheapo skates at your local sporting goods store, and those can take you through at least the fresh meat program. If you really love it, you’re going to want to head up to Bruised Boutique and get yourself a pair of derby skates.

5. Where do I get equipment? We highly recommend Bruised Boutique. The women who work there are very knowledgeable and can really walk you through what the best gear is for your level of skating. Here’s what you’re going to need:

• skates

• elbow pads

• knee pads

• wrist guards

• a helmet

• a mouth guard.

6. What is the schedule? Fresh meat will have practice on Wednesday 8:00 to 10:00 p.m. and on Sunday 5:00 to 8:00.

7. What is the time commitment? In addition the the practice schedule, we require you to volunteer 5 hours a month. WoRD is a non-profit, volunteer-run league and we can only survive if we all help out! You are also going to want to practice at other times at local rinks, too.

8. What if i don’t like it? That’s simply not possible.

9. What are the rules? Because I learn things a lot better by watching them, I also suck at explaining. This is my favorite video describing the very basics of roller derby. From that video you can get pulled into a YouTube vortex of all things roller derby. That’s actually kind of fun and hopefully will get you even more excited about joining us.

10. Where do we practice? WoRD has its own practice space at 34 Suffolk Street in Worcester.

11. Are there men practicing too? WoRD is a women’s only league. We probably will have some guest coaches that will be men, though!

12. What are the ages required? You must be 21 to actually play roller derby, but you can ref at 18.

13. What are the roller derby girls like? Awesome, funny, quirky, intense, artistic… well, I could keep going about how wonderful we are, but read on!

14. Do we have a chance to meet you first and come watch a practice? Yes! Mark your calendars.  We are having a meet and greet on May 17 and May 20th. We want you to come and get to know us!

15. How long do people skate before they understand the game? One of the best ways to understand the game is to watch the game. As fresh meat you will be helping with WoRD scrimmages. This will familiarize you with the rules. You can also catch games on line at Derby News Network. And you should definitely go to other games in the area.  WoRD will be having field trips to those games because we have friends that play for other leagues and we want to watch them!

16. What is the fresh meat program like? You will learn the various skills needed to be able to play the game. We will teach you to skate, fall safely, take and give hits, whips, assists… okay, see? I’m getting ahead of myself. We start slow and build upon your skills as we go. The program will be 14 weeks and will bring you up to a scrimmaging level.

17. Is this staged or a real sport? It’s very real.  Some of the videos that you have seen from the 1960s and 1970s were most likely staged, so take them all with a grain of salt.  We are not like the WWF. We don’t punch people or trip them or grab their hair.

So that’s what I got!  And if you have more questions you can either save them up for the meet-and-greet or follow us on Facebook or check out our website.

Oh, and regarding question 8. If you don’t like it we’re certainly not going to force you to play! But if you love being around us you are welcome to stay as either an NSO or a ref.

Can’t wait to meet you!

If You Love Something You Have to Kill It

I’ve thought for years that there’s a creepy theme that runs through some of America’s best-loved novels:  If you love something not only is it going to die, YOU are going to have to kill it.

(Warning, literary spoilers abound in the next paragraph)

I was pretty much scarred for life in 7th grade after reading the horrible passage where Jody shoots Flag in The Yearling. Just when I felt like I was getting over it, my 10th grade English teacher subjected me to George killing Lennie in Of Mice and Men. Then there’s The Chief– he smothers McMurphy in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. Don’t get me started on Old Yeller. You can see where I’m going here.

Such is the case, apparently, with derby. We all know that we’ll lose a few fresh meat along the way. Maybe it’s not for them. Maybe they realize that derby’s more than just wearing fishnets and they quit. Some make it to contact, decide they just can’t stand getting knocked around and then they quit. We expect this. What’s harder to accept  (at least for me) is when you have someone who clearly loves skating, loves learning, loves playing roller derby but then Life happens and something has to be sacrificed and it’s roller derby that’s staring down the barrel of a shotgun.

For the most part, this isn’t something I have to deal with. In the novel of life I’m the single, wacky best friend. I’ve never been married and my daughter’s an adult now. Other than the reproachful glances from my pug when I head out to practice, I can pretty much do what I want. But I definitely do understand that sometimes it feels like we can’t fit it all in. Or maybe we’ve been given an ultimatum by our significant other, “Your roller skates or me.”  I understand it. I just don’t like it. I feel a little bit like an eight-year-old stomping around yelling, “It’s not fair! It’s not fair!”

It’s not fair.

It’s not fair that a mom has to give up what she loves to fit everything in. It’s not fair that work changed your hours and now you can’t make it to practice. It’s not fair that you don’t have a supportive spouse who understands how important it is for you to finally, finally do something for yourself. I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I don’t like it. In fact, I REJECT it. I reject it not just for myself, but for anyone else who feels like they have to kill what they love. And in my mind, which is pretty much like this 24/7, you can have a happy ending.

My inner Disney princess strongly believes that you don’t have resort to such drastic measures. I think what you love can stay alive– that you can sing and dance with your woodland creature pals and live happily ever after. And if there’s no such thing as happily ever after (yes, there is), then there’s certainly such a thing as compromise. Don’t give up on doing something for yourself. Maybe you’ll learn more slowly if you only come to practice once every two weeks. Maybe you can’t bout because you’ve missed too many practices. But you’ll be there doing what you enjoy. And all your fairy friends will be there, too. So okay, maybe your woodland buddies aren’t Thumper and Flower but instead the bat that flew through practice last month, or the mouse that’s been nibbling on our gym bags. That’s compromise, though, so we’ll just have to accept that.

Yes, something may have to give, but I don’t think anything has to die. And in the meantime, Bronco has an idea to make a playroom at the warehouse. After all, a dream is a wish your heart makes.

Home is wherever I’m with you…

(In which Omega waxes poetic and might even shed a single tear over that whole derby = family thing)

I kind of attract car issues. It’s my only flaw (ladies). Usually though, the saving grace is that these car issues only happen to my cars and therefore everyone else is only mildly inconvenienced by being the passenger in a broken car.

Our recent trip to Long Island to bout Strong Island Derby Revolution did not fare the same way and the end result had me hanging out, alone, in New Jersey for three days waiting for Judy Attitudy’s car to be fixed so I could drive it back to Massachusetts for her (without a GPS, but with a dead phone) [This plan makes sense because I have no job and Judy does, so there]. While I hung out in the Super 8 watching cable and eating convenience store Pringles, Derby people texted once every other hour making sure I was okay.

As you can see, I cut my hair while in the hotel

And that, my friends, brings us to the crux of this post: derby people are just nice. 

When I first joined roller derby I was terrified. Everyone was more fit than me, they had more friends than me, they had more tattoos than me, and they all had their friends and groups and jokes that I just didn’t have. Never mind all that– they could skate. So when I fell on my butt six trillion times just during warm ups I was certain I would never return just because there was no way I could fit in with these people and their hardcore roller skating ways. But then I fell again, and someone helped me up. They gave me pointers and got me on my feet. Of course, I fell again– but then someone else helped me up. And it kept happening all through practice. I would fall; someone would help me. The more I skated the more I fell. And after months and months of training I had someone help me up every time. Maybe not physically, but they certainly gave me pointers and encouragement and moral support. (This is totally starting to sound like one of those cheesy life metaphors. Whatever.) Suddenly I had new friends, and jokes with people, and I could skate better (and I got more tattoos).

Sure, I don’t skate anymore, but I keep falling. And now whenever I fall I know there is going to be someone (or a league full of someones) to help me get back up. They will provide pointers and encouragement and moral support, and we’ll talk about tattoos, and I will get better.

Leagues do that for other leagues, too. Recently, WoRD made plans to do some expo stuff for a local event, and we invited Pair O’Dice City Rollers to come and help out. Things got chaotic and we found ourselves the scrimmage demos– and the other league was already en route. When everyone arrived prepared to get their scrimmage on, we had to deliver the bad news. But instead of being upset or disappointed, the Pair O’Dice girls shrugged their shoulders and said,  “Well what do you want to do now?” So we had our first ever inter-league scrimmage in the warehouse– with its support beam in the ref lane and mattress-lined walls– and it was fine. It was more than that. It was awesome.

And that’s the thing about this sport. In the end everything will be awesome. In spite of the plans of the committees it will be last minute and thrown together and chaotic, but the derby world will still go on. People get injured, they get burned out, they get angry. But every single last one of us gives thanks to derby for existing. Most of my best friends spend three nights a week or more with skates on their feet. If I need a hug for whatever reason I’ll have a line of women with open arms (and probably baked goods too). No matter what league you are on, what level of competition you’re at, how expensive your skates are, there is an entire world of people out there that are there to help you.

That’s kind of, like, really special.

Happy Warriors (amazing pic by the equally amazing Rainbow Crash)

If you are interested in becoming a part of WoRD’s derby family, come join us on June 6^th for our next FreshMeat class. Email us at skate@worcesterrollerderby.com for more details.  Can’t wait to meet you!

A Zebra With No Stripes (In which Omega discusses the majesty of symbiosis and thinks back on her 8th grade science project)

You've seen one of these before

Black and white stripes, mouth open, whistle around their neck. This is a zebra, and it wants to call you out for elbowing.

This looks… sort of… familiar?

This is an oxpecker. Its main duty in life is to hang out with zebras and eat bugs or something off them, I don’t know. This is one of the best similes for refs and NSOs I’ve ever heard, and I think I heard it from Boston Derby Dames’ head ref Three-Day Bender.

While the derby community at large is fairly familiar with the zebra, the oxpecker is a bit more elusive. Now, a lot of roller folks out there have NSO’d, and most of them rave about the benefits, but for the most part players (and fans) are unaware what it is the oxpec… sorry, NSO, does. That’s why I’m everyone’s favorite neighborhood NSOmega!

An NSO– or non-skating official– plays a pivotal role in every scrimmage and bout without anyone really even noticing they’re there. NSOs are one of any of the following: Penalty box timer, penalty box manager, jam timer, inside whiteboard, penalty tracker, outside whiteboard, lineup tracker, scorekeeper, or scoreboard operator. Each league does it differently or has different names for the positions and uses more or less people for certain positions, but this is a pretty basic setup.

Now, what I wanted was to write detailed and useful explanations of each NSO position, the subtle nuances of each job, and the dos and do nots that you might not realize until you’ve already not done or done them. But then I thought about it and I researched it a little and I wrote what I could think of and I realized: this is not fun blog material. Maybe that’s the purpose of this– pointing out that NSOing is hard to define, and that’s part of its mystery.

There are guides out there. I know Roc City (Best. League. Ever.) has a very handy-dandy manual. I know there is a smattering of blog entries about the various roles. Zebra Huddle has NSO specific content where questions can be asked and the NSO/ref relationship is honed. But combined that still isn’t a whole heck of a lot. Look at the WFTDA rulebook. It’s a resource for skaters to learn the rules; it’s the law book for refs, and it barely acknowledges NSOs. There are really no well-defined NSO rules beyond the general consensus that not all refs enforce.

Having worked for and with various leagues, it’s pretty easy to see that the NSO job is not regulated and is often left to the freshmeat and derby widows willing to do something other than watch on game day, so I was more than a little surprised and just a tad curious when I read that WFTDA is launching a new certification program for NSOs.

In the past the only WFTDA official NSO certification you could have was that of being a Level 1 ref. With that you were certified to (I believe) NSO at a WFTDA tournament. That’s as far as it went. Those that were certified at Levels 2 through 5 of the program were all in on-skates reffing positions. Now the same amount of hard work and education is required of WFTDA NSOs, which shines a spotlight where only shadows fell before.

NSOing is a difficult task, and for those of us that have done it for years, have researched different NSO setups, memorized skaters’ numbers, headed the Nerd Herd for brand-new leagues, pored over paperwork for hours, and been more than a little excited by new whiteboards and markers, this is huge.

I still staff my crews with Freshmeat and derby widows because not only are they willing, but they have started to understand that there’s more to that non-skating officiating thing than the free zebra snacks and sweaty skater hugs. NSOing is just as much a part of the game as jamming and blocking. And we’re never too tired for the after party.

From my safari trip, October 2008

Facing Your Fear

Once, even though I was afraid, I forced myself to go on this:

Scream, Six Flags New England

If you’re not familiar with the ride Scream, here’s a description:

Speed up or shoot down over 200 feet in a matter of seconds on Scream—a 20-story high triple-tower mega-thrill complex. Go sky-high on the Space Shot, plummet down on the Turbo Drop, or get sent in both directions on the Combo tower.

I made the colossal mistake of going on the Combo tower. It was probably one of the worst experiences of my adult life and I’m still sorry I did it. But I did do it.

Now here’s two truths about me: (1) I love playing roller derby. (2) I’m always afraid to play roller derby. I rarely talk about it to other people because I worry that I’m going to be showing weakness if I admit it. No one else is afraid to play roller derby.

Last night the Warriors had a team practice to prepare for our bout on Saturday against Strong Island Derby Revolution. Everyone had their game face on. It was an intense two hours. On my way home I said to my teammate, “I was terrified through that whole practice. It was really scary.” I was kinda/sorta revealing something personal about myself, so I was surprised when she said, “You didn’t look terrified,” and then moved on to a different subject. I didn’t look terrified? Really? Well, that’s good, because in my head I looked just like this.

That’s pretty much how I always think I look when I’m playing because roller derby is scary. You’re going to get hit. You’re going to fall. You’re going to attempt to do something really hard and sometimes you’re going to fail.

So this is good. I was afraid but I didn’t look afraid. I said, “I’m glad I didn’t look it. I was, though. I’m always scared when I start playing.”

My friend said, “Oh, me too! My heart’s pounding a mile a minute. I’m trembling. I’m always really scared.”

Really? Huh.

Then I started thinking back to my last game and one of the best jammers on the team sat down next to me and said, “Here come my nerves.” She was nervous. Then she got out there and skated and got lead jammer– many times.

So I tried thinking about all the conversations I’ve had with my league this year (and my former league last year) about upcoming games. Now that I think about it, I’ve heard a lot of, “We’re playing that team? I’m scared.”

Apparently a lot of us (dare I say all of us) get scared. And then we play roller derby. So why do we do that? Well, according to Michael Gass, chair of the kinesiology department at the University of New Hampshire in this Psychology Today article about facing your fear, ”Physical risk taking is beneficial because it’s a consequential, obvious statement of what you’re able to do.” The article goes on to say that beyond developing self-confidence, physical risk taking (roller derby) can stretch your identity. So what I’m taking from that, then, is that being scared, feeling that fear and then doing it anyway is actually good for me– good for all of us. That it changes us and makes us better.

I remember reading somewhere that feeling fear also kills off weak cells, leaving your body healthier. That’s why I got on that horrible ride at Six Flags. I can’t find that study anywhere now, so maybe I actually made it up. Either way, it seems pretty clear that taking risks, moving outside your comfort zone, and facing your fear are things that we should attempt more than once–  or, in my case, three times a week and then bouts once a month for 7 months.

If you’re ready to face your fear, you can email us at skate@worcesterrollerderby.com. We’re starting a new fresh meat class in June and we’d love to have you join us. Like us on Facebook and you can also stay up to date with us and find out about all the fun and scary things we’ll be doing in the coming months.  Looking forward to hearing from you!

Damsels vs. Distress

Let’s face it- Roller Derby is a pretty rough-and-tumble sport. It’s sweaty, it’s gruesome, and I’ve seen both blood and vomit on the track a time or two. As terrifying and challenging as this sport is, there are always those that want to take a step further– so we’re throwing some chainmaille in there.

WoRD’s plot to take over the greater Worcester area now includes a partnership with Higgins Armory- also known as the place where an eleven year old Omega, with her adorable dimples and pig tails, dreamed of living as in E.L. Konigsburg’s From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E Frankweiler. Let’s all just take a minute to let it sink in how cool that is.

Awesome poster courtesy of the wondrous Stella Redshift

Okay. So on Sunday, March 25, at 1:00, Worcester Roller Derby’s (incredibly fierce) Warriors will be jousting with some of the ladies from Pioneer Valley Roller Derby. Admission to the museum is $9 for students and $12 for everyone else. The joust and scrimmage in the parking lot is free.  Considering this is what I’m imagining it will look like, you really need to come.

Artist's rendering (Omega)

The following Saturday, the Warriors will be taking Strong Island Derby Revolution. That’s right–  we’re going BACK to New York. Come down and watch us, and paint your bodies blue and gold for your favorite team.