Slam Learns New Things

Posted: March 23, 2014 in Roller Derby, Written by Slam

I often worry about what really important things I’m what I’m going to forget when I’m old because of all the new– and most of it useless– information that I have to store in my head every day. (because we really DO learn something new every day, right?)

On March 8 I learned about beards.

A few months ago Worcester Roller Derby was asked to be a judge at Whiskered Wonderland II, a beard competition. For some reason, my league mates thought that I should be the one to do it and since it seemed– well, it seemed like maybe there’d be some single bearded men there– I accepted. Even better than meeting single bearded men was the idea that the proceeds were going to benefit Child Life Center at Umass Memorial. So lots of us WoRDettes (as we sometimes call ourselves) headed down to Ralph’s Rock Diner to be either a judge, a contestant, or just drink and have a good time.

T-Flex, Slam Grier, and Megzatron. Best. Teammates. Ever.

T-Flex, Slam Grier, and Megzatron. Best. Teammates. Ever.

The night was long and filled with LOTS of judging duties, too many, really, to try to describe all the stuff that happened there. (Also, some people bought me drinks so there may be a few gaps anyway.) But here’s what I learned:

  1. These guys take serious pride in their beards. Like, they use conditioner on them and stuff.
  2. I don’t really need to feel a man’s beard to know if I like it or not.
  3. The second floor of Ralph’s gets really hot with a lot of people in it
  4. If I want to get hit on more often, I really need to go to bars more.  You know how many guys were trying to get with me that night?? A LOT, that’s how many!
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