In Which Omega Uses Many Exclamation Points and is Less Than Humble About Her Favorite League in the World

We did it. Worcester Roller Derby bouted their very first home bout and– if I do say so myself– we rocked it. After months of planning and worrying and being crazy hot messes we put on a bout without any serious incidents or injuries, something worthy of the “Well Done” column.

All hands were on deck three hours before the doors were open setting up tables, laying out the track, ensuring the projector worked, providing the benches and locker rooms with supplies, training NSOs, and running countless errands to ensure we would pull it all off. Every single member of WoRD was instrumental in the success of this bout. The staff at the Horgan stopped at nothing to provide us with everything we needed, and I can’t sing their praises loud enough. The ref crew we pulled from all over New England officiated like the professionals they are. Friends from our brother and sister leagues came to show their support. Central Vermont was wonderful to play against and party with and, as always, Pair O’Dice City was excellent both on and off the track. We can’t thank any of these people enough.

But really what any bout is about is the fans– and we certainly had a full house of them. It was amazing to see such a large audience to support a new local league, and all be genuinely excited about the success of it and its members. It warms my dark little cobwebby heart. And I guess it helps that the Warriors came out with a win (Senora was our heavy hitter and Messy was our MVP).  And our B team,  The Warheads, had themselves a spectacular debut as well.

Messy MurderHer jamming is quite the sight to see.
(Photo: Rainbow Crash)

What’s next?  We’ve got a car wash coming up.

Car Wash! June 23rd!
(Flyer: Stella Redshift)

And although we have no more home bouts, our next match up is July 14th against the sensational Pair O’Dice City Rollers at Amelia Park in Westfield, MA, so we’re still keeping it in the Bay State.

Oh, and I guess we’re hosting a little New England B-team tournament known as All 8 on the Floor. No big deal, just eleven of New England’s favorite B teams bouting it out over two action-packed days. Yup, hosted by the still baby league that is Worcester Roller Derby. We wanted it so we’re making it happen.

Stone Fox’s derby face is finally immortalized in poster form.

And while I’m bragging, we also have ourselves a new batch of freshmeat, including two awesome dudes we’re turning into zebras.

I think this league is pretty awesome.

 

Digging Holes Builds Character (In which Omega complains– a lot– but adds to her to-do list by writing this blog)

It’s hard running a roller derby league. It’s hard training freshmeat how to skate (think baby giraffes with the legs everywhere). It’s hard organizing a large group of women into some semblance of a working operation. But really, in spite of all our knowledge going into it, and the months upon months of preparation, it’s hard to plan a bout.

Just to look at all the pieces, here’s the regular to do list for each bout (and no, this doesn’t include everything): get the venue, get insurance, sanction the venue,  get another team to play you, get their insurance, make a bout poster, print the bout poster, make a Facebook event, get refs, get NSOs, book an after party, make a program, get merch ordered, get sponsors, print the program, get vendors, get a security crew, get a production crew, get a DJ (but only if you get a music license), hire EMTs, get someone to perform the national anthem, get an announcer, make team baskets… And be well prepared to be running around like a chicken with your head cut off come bout day, because there’s no way it’s ever going to run smoothly.

When you have a new league, it’s a guarantee that not everyone knows what they’re doing. Honestly, not everyone knows what they’re doing in any league, and that’s an important thing to remember. WoRD is lucky, because a lot of us are going into our third season of bout preparation. But that’s a lot of responsibility to fall on just a few shoulders, so we all have to work our hardest to both support and delegate.

In short, it’s a lot of work.  Especially when you add two new logs to the mix:

WoRD’s new logo

Warheads logo

In the (less than a) week leading up to our bout, things are getting stressful. If everything goes accordingly, we’ll have all of our NSO equipment. We have officials coming in from several neighboring leagues to lend a helping hand/whistle. Last night I had a dream that we’d somehow been evicted from our warehouse and the lingering thought I had when I awoke was, “how are going to get our helmet panties now?”

If, as a visitor to another league’s bout or a spectator with no inside knowledge of derby, these struggles never crossed your mind- then that league is doing it right. If you ever wondered why a league needs so many people outside the ones with the skates strapped to their feet, this is why. If you’re excited to see if WoRD can pull it all off (spoiler alert, we can and we will) come check us out on Saturday. We can’t wait to show you how good we are– oh and our teams can play well too.

 

Home is wherever I’m with you…

(In which Omega waxes poetic and might even shed a single tear over that whole derby = family thing)

I kind of attract car issues. It’s my only flaw (ladies). Usually though, the saving grace is that these car issues only happen to my cars and therefore everyone else is only mildly inconvenienced by being the passenger in a broken car.

Our recent trip to Long Island to bout Strong Island Derby Revolution did not fare the same way and the end result had me hanging out, alone, in New Jersey for three days waiting for Judy Attitudy’s car to be fixed so I could drive it back to Massachusetts for her (without a GPS, but with a dead phone) [This plan makes sense because I have no job and Judy does, so there]. While I hung out in the Super 8 watching cable and eating convenience store Pringles, Derby people texted once every other hour making sure I was okay.

As you can see, I cut my hair while in the hotel

And that, my friends, brings us to the crux of this post: derby people are just nice. 

When I first joined roller derby I was terrified. Everyone was more fit than me, they had more friends than me, they had more tattoos than me, and they all had their friends and groups and jokes that I just didn’t have. Never mind all that– they could skate. So when I fell on my butt six trillion times just during warm ups I was certain I would never return just because there was no way I could fit in with these people and their hardcore roller skating ways. But then I fell again, and someone helped me up. They gave me pointers and got me on my feet. Of course, I fell again– but then someone else helped me up. And it kept happening all through practice. I would fall; someone would help me. The more I skated the more I fell. And after months and months of training I had someone help me up every time. Maybe not physically, but they certainly gave me pointers and encouragement and moral support. (This is totally starting to sound like one of those cheesy life metaphors. Whatever.) Suddenly I had new friends, and jokes with people, and I could skate better (and I got more tattoos).

Sure, I don’t skate anymore, but I keep falling. And now whenever I fall I know there is going to be someone (or a league full of someones) to help me get back up. They will provide pointers and encouragement and moral support, and we’ll talk about tattoos, and I will get better.

Leagues do that for other leagues, too. Recently, WoRD made plans to do some expo stuff for a local event, and we invited Pair O’Dice City Rollers to come and help out. Things got chaotic and we found ourselves the scrimmage demos– and the other league was already en route. When everyone arrived prepared to get their scrimmage on, we had to deliver the bad news. But instead of being upset or disappointed, the Pair O’Dice girls shrugged their shoulders and said,  “Well what do you want to do now?” So we had our first ever inter-league scrimmage in the warehouse– with its support beam in the ref lane and mattress-lined walls– and it was fine. It was more than that. It was awesome.

And that’s the thing about this sport. In the end everything will be awesome. In spite of the plans of the committees it will be last minute and thrown together and chaotic, but the derby world will still go on. People get injured, they get burned out, they get angry. But every single last one of us gives thanks to derby for existing. Most of my best friends spend three nights a week or more with skates on their feet. If I need a hug for whatever reason I’ll have a line of women with open arms (and probably baked goods too). No matter what league you are on, what level of competition you’re at, how expensive your skates are, there is an entire world of people out there that are there to help you.

That’s kind of, like, really special.

Happy Warriors (amazing pic by the equally amazing Rainbow Crash)

If you are interested in becoming a part of WoRD’s derby family, come join us on June 6^th for our next FreshMeat class. Email us at skate@worcesterrollerderby.com for more details.  Can’t wait to meet you!

A Zebra With No Stripes (In which Omega discusses the majesty of symbiosis and thinks back on her 8th grade science project)

You've seen one of these before

Black and white stripes, mouth open, whistle around their neck. This is a zebra, and it wants to call you out for elbowing.

This looks… sort of… familiar?

This is an oxpecker. Its main duty in life is to hang out with zebras and eat bugs or something off them, I don’t know. This is one of the best similes for refs and NSOs I’ve ever heard, and I think I heard it from Boston Derby Dames’ head ref Three-Day Bender.

While the derby community at large is fairly familiar with the zebra, the oxpecker is a bit more elusive. Now, a lot of roller folks out there have NSO’d, and most of them rave about the benefits, but for the most part players (and fans) are unaware what it is the oxpec… sorry, NSO, does. That’s why I’m everyone’s favorite neighborhood NSOmega!

An NSO– or non-skating official– plays a pivotal role in every scrimmage and bout without anyone really even noticing they’re there. NSOs are one of any of the following: Penalty box timer, penalty box manager, jam timer, inside whiteboard, penalty tracker, outside whiteboard, lineup tracker, scorekeeper, or scoreboard operator. Each league does it differently or has different names for the positions and uses more or less people for certain positions, but this is a pretty basic setup.

Now, what I wanted was to write detailed and useful explanations of each NSO position, the subtle nuances of each job, and the dos and do nots that you might not realize until you’ve already not done or done them. But then I thought about it and I researched it a little and I wrote what I could think of and I realized: this is not fun blog material. Maybe that’s the purpose of this– pointing out that NSOing is hard to define, and that’s part of its mystery.

There are guides out there. I know Roc City (Best. League. Ever.) has a very handy-dandy manual. I know there is a smattering of blog entries about the various roles. Zebra Huddle has NSO specific content where questions can be asked and the NSO/ref relationship is honed. But combined that still isn’t a whole heck of a lot. Look at the WFTDA rulebook. It’s a resource for skaters to learn the rules; it’s the law book for refs, and it barely acknowledges NSOs. There are really no well-defined NSO rules beyond the general consensus that not all refs enforce.

Having worked for and with various leagues, it’s pretty easy to see that the NSO job is not regulated and is often left to the freshmeat and derby widows willing to do something other than watch on game day, so I was more than a little surprised and just a tad curious when I read that WFTDA is launching a new certification program for NSOs.

In the past the only WFTDA official NSO certification you could have was that of being a Level 1 ref. With that you were certified to (I believe) NSO at a WFTDA tournament. That’s as far as it went. Those that were certified at Levels 2 through 5 of the program were all in on-skates reffing positions. Now the same amount of hard work and education is required of WFTDA NSOs, which shines a spotlight where only shadows fell before.

NSOing is a difficult task, and for those of us that have done it for years, have researched different NSO setups, memorized skaters’ numbers, headed the Nerd Herd for brand-new leagues, pored over paperwork for hours, and been more than a little excited by new whiteboards and markers, this is huge.

I still staff my crews with Freshmeat and derby widows because not only are they willing, but they have started to understand that there’s more to that non-skating officiating thing than the free zebra snacks and sweaty skater hugs. NSOing is just as much a part of the game as jamming and blocking. And we’re never too tired for the after party.

From my safari trip, October 2008

Damsels vs. Distress

Let’s face it- Roller Derby is a pretty rough-and-tumble sport. It’s sweaty, it’s gruesome, and I’ve seen both blood and vomit on the track a time or two. As terrifying and challenging as this sport is, there are always those that want to take a step further– so we’re throwing some chainmaille in there.

WoRD’s plot to take over the greater Worcester area now includes a partnership with Higgins Armory- also known as the place where an eleven year old Omega, with her adorable dimples and pig tails, dreamed of living as in E.L. Konigsburg’s From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E Frankweiler. Let’s all just take a minute to let it sink in how cool that is.

Awesome poster courtesy of the wondrous Stella Redshift

Okay. So on Sunday, March 25, at 1:00, Worcester Roller Derby’s (incredibly fierce) Warriors will be jousting with some of the ladies from Pioneer Valley Roller Derby. Admission to the museum is $9 for students and $12 for everyone else. The joust and scrimmage in the parking lot is free.  Considering this is what I’m imagining it will look like, you really need to come.

Artist's rendering (Omega)

The following Saturday, the Warriors will be taking Strong Island Derby Revolution. That’s right–  we’re going BACK to New York. Come down and watch us, and paint your bodies blue and gold for your favorite team.

On the Road, or, Travels with Charley: In which Omega confuses Kerouac with Steinbeck on the internet

So apparently Henrietta, New York, is a very uncomfortable 5+ hour drive from Worcester. But who cares for comfort when you’re surrounded by NSOs, coaches, skaters, and FreshBabies?

Last Saturday a brave group of Warriors traveled to the Dome Arena to take on Roc City Roller Derby’s b-team, the B-Sides. The Warriors consisted of nine (yes, nine) awesome ladies: Stone Fox, Miss Paddy WhackHer, Senora Slaughter, Smackaroni, Messy MurderHer, Stella Redshift, Falkor!, Casa Bonita, and Judy Attitudy.

Every team needs a posse, so there was Bronco to coach, Uber to be the skater whisperer/my mom away from home/awesome, and me to bench manage. We also had Olivia Bench’em and fresh meat Nikki to NSO, fresh meat Rachel to sell merch, and fresh meat Lyndsie, Mary, and Pam to cheer/photograph. (It’s important to note that every person takes on multiple roles. This is customary in all things derby)

We set out just before 9:00 a.m., piling into four cars loaded to the brim with gear, food, pillows, and blankets. I found myself smooshed in the backseat between Smacky and Messy with Senora at the wheel and Lyndsie riding shotgun. The drive was pleasant– we just hopped on the Mass Pike and then did other driving things that I wasn’t paying much attention to. There were lovely houses and barns and horses on the way and nice conversation about the Worcester music scene. At one point we stopped at a rest stop in Chittenango and the weather had changed from sunny to raining to snow, but it only lasted briefly and the rest of the trip was uneventful.

Mandatory car shot (Lyndsie Morris)

Finally (finally!) we arrived at Henrietta’s Red Roof Inn around three in the afternoon (though Mary was a speed demon and arrived an hour before everyone else.) Our relaxation in the hotel was brief, there was just enough time to change and construct a uniform, and then we went off to the arena while the FreshKittens got us food. 

This is the point in the post where I would like to use caps lock and yell from the highest mountains how amazing Roc City is– but I won’t because I don’t want to scare the internet. Pretend this is in calligraphy and someone is playing a harp or something, because Roc City deserves nothing less. As we ladies walked into the skaters’ entrance of the arena we were greeted not only by several smiling faces of the Roc City bout staff, but the biggest, prettiest, greatest, most amazing omnivore/vegetarian/vegan buffet in the world. We were told to indulge in the food, and then walked to our locker room which also had food. During the night we all talked with players and staff alike, each of who was hospitable and kind and just all around lovely. After some face stuffing the team geared up and got their arms numbered and signed paperwork.

While the team warmed up, I spoke with announcers P.F. Bangs and Major Buzz to go over the roster and to ensure Worcester was not “Warsester” or “Worcestershire.” To her credit, Bangs admitted to practicing so she’d get it right. The minutes ticked down and bam, we were at the benches while the Canadian and American national anthems were sung (RCRD’s Roc-Stars were taking on Ontario’s Tri-City Thunder after our bout) and then it was time for the slow-mo demo and the bout itself.

Following the bout, Bronco flew home (Mary Courtney)

It’s hard to say exactly what goes on in my mind during a bout when I’m bench managing, something along the lines of “Okay, next lineup. Man these panties smell. I don’t know why I always sniff them. I’m glad I don’t have to wear panties. Ha, panties. Ohhh, Paddy that was a great hit. High kick! Oh, no! Someone’s going to the box. Oh, wait that’s not mine. Ha! You guys had someone go to the box! Wow, this is a long jam. Jam, jam, jam, I want some jam! Okay, next lineup. Go kick butts! Yeah!”

This one was super easy thanks to our tiny roster. The Warriors fought hard and the score at the half was a respectable 59-46, Roc City. As you can imagine, our single-digit roster was a tired group at this point, but WoRD prides itself on our endurance so they were ready to take on the second half just as hard as the first. Sadly, the Warriors found themselves in the box more frequently, and there were a few hits that hurt harder than the rest. I did, however, have one of the best dance offs ever with the lovely and charming Judy Attitudy as she waited on the jammer line during an official time out! The team tried their best but lost to the B-Sides, 125-67. The B-Sides awarded Miss Paddy WhackHer the title of “heavy hitter” and Senora Slaughter as the team’s MVP.

Senora Slaughter, Miss PaddyWhackHer, and Stella Redshift with Judy Attitudy jamming (Mary Courtney)

It was one of the best games I’ve ever had the privilege to work. 

~NSOmega